The Guild TimesWritten by OllannachArticle Type: Humour

MASSIVE CLIMATE UPROAR

By our reporter Beark Sunclash

BLACK CITADEL – A crowd of sylvari have been blocking the entrance to the Great Imperial Smelter to demand better attention to climate-neutral alternatives. The sylvari claim that the smelter has a bad influence on the nearby environment, making it nearly impossible for new flora and fauna to flourish nearby. “The charr are preventing the fabled beauty of this area to return by maintaining this facility. All things have a right to grow and this needs to stop now!” tells Grian, the sylvari spokesperson.

LATE VIGIL PREVENT CENTAUR RAID

By our reporter Detsch

ASCALON SETTLEMENT – The Vigil made a stand against a recent centaur raid on the Ascalon Settlement near Lion’s Arch. While the Ascalon Settlement is known to often be under attack by centaurs, mostly resulting in a loss for the latter, this attack force was proportionally larger than those that preceded it. The attack endured for one hour before the Vigil’s attention was drawn. After their arrival on the scene, the tide of battle went over quickly in favour of the Settlement. Afterwards, the Vigil refrained to comment on their late reaction.

FLUCTUATING STOCKS ON THE BLACK LION TRADING POST

By our reporter Soola

LION'S ARCH – Seemingly out of nowhere the stocks of the Black Lion Trading Post have been fluctuating at an accelerated speed. Reports claim that someone managed to figure out the algorithm behind the system and is now playing the market with that knowledge. Even worse, said person has been spreading this information so that there are multiple cases of fluctuation being reported, causing in a rising value of the gemstones that high-profiled traders tend to trade with. We asked Evon Gnashblade for a comment on the fluctuation: “This fluctuation is just a result of my continued effort. People seem to like spending their money on my market, and I definitely like see them doing so.”